One year later

So, here we are, exactly one year later. One haircut later...

A number of friends say, "You should be out celebrating!"

It's hard to describe the emotions of being exactly one year out from the diagnosis and 7 months out of treatment. There are still many reminders everyday that this fight is far from over. It's hard to celebrate when you can feel both ports and suffer the peripheral neuropathy the way Nanc does. And then there's the odds given by her doctor. 70/30 - that's the way he put it. Those odds get better every year he said, but the reality is, 70/30.

I think the feeling is that by celebrating too much, we would be giving the cancer more power over our life than it deserves. I think that there is an unspoken reverence for it but I think there is the fear that by celebrating this soon, it may be almost like taunting its return - if that makes any sense.

That really sounds kind of morbid - I know. Where's that positive attitude that we can beat this thing? Oh that's still there, believe me. It's just that the day to day battle is the single, most important thing right now. And those days will eventually add up to years - and then we can kiss it good-bye. But not until...

xoxo