The Inking of Round 4

It's hard to believe that we scheduled round four today. We visited with Dr. Leuchter and he was his usual nonchalant self, calm and reassuring. We talked a bit about the neuropathy, how long it takes to dissipate after chemo, the chances of permanent damage, etc.

And as is the case with cancer treatments, it's different for every individual. He told us of a piano player who had 6 treatments of taxol and 3 more of another similar type of chemo who is playing piano after all her treatments. And she had a lot more than Nanc will. That's the encouraging part of the discussion...

We talked about the lack of appetite and he said she'll gain her weight back, not to worry about that. It might take 4 to 6 months but her appetite will return.

I know we talked about more but it all seemed like a dream today. It's almost getting to be too routine if that makes any sense. Like we are now veterans of this fight and have been numbed somewhat to the environment at the hospital. Who would have thunk it??

I will share a moment with you that happened tonight that will give you an idea of the effect all of this can have on Nanc at times. She was laying on the couch with Danika as I was making dinner and Dani called for kleenex - "She's crying." So I brought kleenex and sure enough, she was crying.

"I just don't want to be me right now." She said she just wanted 30 minutes when she didn't feel like a cancer patient...

I wish there was some magic pill or something but we all know the answer to that one. I will hearken back to the acceptance quote from the other day. It's truly one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. And here we are, half way through...

I know there's more but I am tired and need to get to bed. I just wanted to bring you current and let you all know we appreciate the prayers, the calls, the help and the love. You are all part of her fight and she wouldn't be able to make it through without that knowledge. So big hugs and kisses all around.

xoxo