...because every time Nanc looks into one, she is reminded once again of the fact that she has cancer. And at this point in her treatment, as I've been telling you, it's like - "Okay - I'm done now. I am ready to go back to the way it used to be..."
Will it ever be exactly the same as it used to be? My gut tells me that it won't. (Duh!) I don't see how it could given all that she - and all of us for that matter - have been through these past months.
I remember when my dad passed away in 1997 and I realized that inside, I would never be the same. These types of life experiences have a way of ripping out parts of your life as you know it. Then it mixes all that up so that when it's done with you, you have a different view of things. Not better, not worse, just decidedly different. Some would probably argue deeper. Who's to say? If the accumulation of life experiences makes life more meaningful, then we've just been given a pot full...
Looking forward to a week off from chemo and getting ready to start round 6 a week from Tuesday. If all goes according to plan, she will have her final treatment on October 16, her mom's birthday, right on schedule. Which is really saying something given the demands of the protocol, etc. Keep your fingers crossed.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Your gut(duh)isn't wrong.When Dad died I too thought the world sort of shifted.Everything looked a little bit,like you said, decidedly different. Sometimes I think we gather these experiences to show us something we never saw before.(Is "before" a preposition?) I can't see senior citizens in the grocery store without helping the men with arthritic hands open those plastic bags in the vegetable aisle or help the little, skinny, stooped old ladies get the prunes off the top shelf. I'm not seeing seniors as much as I'm seeing someone's parents. Deeper? Different? I don't know either. Could be after the pain of it all we're left with a pot that is full of compassion and gratitude.
I am just so in awe of how strong you both are (even though you may not feel it so much!)And I can't wait for the time in the future when you are writing - I remember 10 years ago,back in 2007 when Nancy had cancer...
Post a Comment